The poor fagetta has been trapped in bed and, sadly, not as a result of a sex game that went gloriously wrong but because of this exceedingly common cold. The most excellent by-product of this is that I get to watch what I call ‘Giro cheque TV’ – Kyle, Dickinson, Bellingham, lady who talks about soaps on daytime TV and yet has incongruously maroon goth hair – all the greats!
Today on This Morning, ex-glamour model Jo Guest (a heterosexual man would doubtless yell ‘Av it!’ at this point) popped in to chat to Phil and Fern about her ‘mystery illness’, which has left her unable to work…
Page 3-tastic stunna Jo, who has gone from blonde bombshell in perspex tranny heels to… well, frankly, Ann Diamond called and she wants her look back, love. Jo described her symptoms thusly: she had a bloated tummy, had put on weight in her ankles and was sick a lot and suffered from permanent exhaustion.
Let me save Dr. Chris a whole load of time with the Fag Hag’s diagnosis. Hmmmm. Weight gain around your stomach? Loss of energy? Having a rubbish constitution suddenly? It’s called hitting 35 love.