Fag Hag niece was served up a giant bite of the reality sandwich yesterday.
‘So, anyway…’ announced the six-year-old darling, whilst brutally yanking hair belonging to some polish stripper of a Bratz doll, ‘when I grow up and get my willy…’
Fag Hag sister looked at me. I looked at Fag Hag sister. it was time for Charlie to send in Jill and Sabrina. ‘Er, darling?’ said Fag Hag sister. ‘You do know you won’t grow a willy, don’t you?’…
Fag Hag niece dropped the Bratz and gave us the sort of evil stare Blake Carrington reserved for Stephen Carrington after the ‘yep, I’m gay’ speech. ‘I will grow a willy!’ I will get one! I will! I want a willy!’ she cried inconsolably.
‘You’ll have boobies instead!’ enthused Fag Hag sister. ‘You can’t have boobies AND a willy at the same time.’
‘Sure you can,’ I said helpfully. ‘What about Michael Winner?’ Funnily enough, I didn’t get offered that second cup of tea.