Fag Hag Diary

Auntie Em


Fag Hag niece was served up a giant bite of the reality sandwich yesterday.

‘So, anyway…’ announced the six-year-old darling, whilst brutally yanking hair belonging to some polish stripper of a Bratz doll, ‘when I grow up and get my willy…’

Fag Hag sister looked at me. I looked at Fag Hag sister. it was time for Charlie to send in Jill and Sabrina. ‘Er, darling?’ said Fag Hag sister. ‘You do know you won’t grow a willy, don’t you?’…

Fag Hag niece dropped the Bratz and gave us the sort of evil stare Blake Carrington reserved for Stephen Carrington after the ‘yep, I’m gay’ speech. ‘I will grow a willy!’ I will get one! I will! I want a willy!’ she cried inconsolably.

‘You’ll have boobies instead!’ enthused Fag Hag sister. ‘You can’t have boobies AND a willy at the same time.’

‘Sure you can,’ I said helpfully. ‘What about Michael Winner?’ Funnily enough, I didn’t get offered that second cup of tea.

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3 comments to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. I wish I had a willy

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  2. NO, you don’t Mrs. Mouse. You’ll only regret it.

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  3. Bratz dolls are really, really wrong. I have drummed it into my niece and her parents that she will never be owning one.

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