Ooh, look who won Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack without anyone noticing! ‘Cause no one was watching. And someone actually had to call us to tell us he’d won. We were stupified, naturally.

I've won, I've won, I'VE WON!!!!!

His name’s John, ‘parently, he’s Scottish, he’s of ginge and he looks like the Honey Monster.

We’ve heard that this morning, he’s happy.

This is what the Honey Monster looks like…

Hot.

Uncanny.

The end.

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3 comments to “Ooh, look who won Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack without anyone noticing! ‘Cause no one was watching. And someone actually had to call us to tell us he’d won. We were stupified, naturally.”

  1. Shittest BB franchise ever.

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  2. So true. The poor dears, there they are in the BB house thinking it’s going to do wonders for their profile, only to find out on leaving that they’re as anonymous as the day they went in.

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  3. The best bit was that when Davina used to lead the grown-up evictees out of the house, she would instruct them to pose for the paps. With Dermot O’Queery, there were no waiting photographers for any of them. Wait. Did I watch the whole thing? Er, maybe.

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