In news that is literally music to our ears, Amy Winehouse will write the theme tune/sing the theme tune (we’re SO sorry for that lame Little Britain nod just then, but the double soya cappuccino from Pret ain’t kicked in yet [NB. They put the price up by TWENTY ENGLISH PENCE! Still shits on Starbucks, mind]) for the next Bond filmic device.
This makes us happy for the following reasons:
– We’ve been saying Amy should do the Bond ditty for, like, two-and-a-half years at least. So there.
– The last one was shit. Can’t even remember who did the last one, but it was shit. The one before that was also probably shit. Was that the Sheryl ‘With an S’ Crow one? Zzzzz’actly. In fact, they’ve been pretty darn lame since OGL did the one for Die Another Day, and that was far from cheeeenius.
– There’s a rule for Bond themes. Fierce lady person with stomping voice. You know, Dame Shirl and Gladys Knight and Carly Simon and Sheena Easton. Jury’s still out on Wings, obviously. Ditto Duran Duran, but at least they had expensive hair. And were a bunch of ladies.
– And c) and d)
Ooh but there’s a catch. When isn’t there? ‘Tis that Amy has to stay off the naughty stuff, otherwise Bond-y types will say no, no, no. We also apologise for that. Here’s a quote from ‘Source’:
‘If Amy is clean, then it’s hers.’
Now let’s look at Daniel Craig without his clothes on.