You’ve just imagined Raw. A new leading cola from leading cola company Pepsi.
Leading cola company Pepsi has come up with a sparkling beverage made from vegetable extracts that is a quarter less calorific than a regular leading cola. And instead of all that dirty corn syrup (that Victoria Wood learnt us was all wrong in her two-parter on fatties and why they fat), it has proper cane sugar along with its recipe of apple extract, coffee leaf, gum arabic from acacia trees and some delicious sparkling water.
It’s lighter in colour, less fizzy and we’ll have us some of that, ’cause we do like a nice cola, leading or otherwise. Out soon.
Fun fact: The word ‘cola’ in Spanish means ‘tail’. Or ‘queue’. The word ‘queue’ in French means tail. Or ‘cola’.