Fag Hag Diary

 
Square eyes in the making

Tuesday

The Fag Hag has an embarrassing confession to make. No, that’s been taken care of and it’s amazing what penicillin and a truss can do.

This is way more mortifying so be gentle with me, my darlings. Here y’all are…

I have never seen an entire episode of ER. I have never seen an entire episode of 24. And I have never seen an entire episode of Lost. You see, when it comes to big water cooler TV dramas imported from America, the Fag Hag misses the goddam boat more often than Leo in Titanic.

When ER kicked off in this country and everyone was glued to their little 90s TV sets with giant backs? The Fag Hag was on a three-week holiday sucking off some Dutch bloke…

When Lost first launched in a flurry of dramarama? I came home drunk to catch the last 15 minutes and thought, ‘Why is a fat man standing by an old plane wing? That’s not very Carrie.’ And as for 24? I believe I was in the shagathon early stages of a relationship so the only TV I was watching was Anal Party 3.

Which brings me to my point. The time has come to right some wrongs. I’m getting started on these fuckers one by one. I will not rest until my work is done. I have the determination of Scarlett wielding that carrot.

So lay it on me beatches, whilst my hand lingers over my Amazon basket – which of these TV juggernauts do I get to know first?

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7 comments to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. Ooh, start with Entourage. it’s like Sex and the City for boys.

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  2. Don’t watch Lost because it’s shit.

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  3. I liked Entourage meself and have heard very good reports of Nip/Tuck. But frankly, who’s got the time, less you whack it on your iPhone and watch it on the bus.

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  4. Ooh I want to try Entourage too. Lost is a pile of bollocks and SO boring. 24 was fun but is now just silly. So Entourage it is then…

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  5. I’m with you on 24. Never seen it. Nor Westwing, which I heard is fantastic. Never saw that Six Feet Under thing, either. Love ER, but don’t watch it often enough. Agree with Bernard — Entourage is great. You need to get with The Wire, though. Oh, My. Fucking. God. CHEENIUS! (It starts quite slowly, but stick with it). I like Lost, too. Then there’s the gay wankfest that is Oz. And The Sopranos, and The Shield. And CSI. BTW, on your advice (sort of) I watched the car crash that is Vanity Lair at the weekend. Hilarious. Brilliantly shit. Especially when the Happy Shopper version of the bloke from High School Musical puked when he was announced the most ugly in a ‘scientific’ test.

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  6. Oh, and I forgot Damages. A legal drama with no boring courtroom scenes, just a mega conniving, scheming bitch in Glenn Close. You can download the first episode for free on iTunes.

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  7. Lost is appropriately named. Start with 24. Keifer is a scappy llittle boy toy. He could jump Her Highness anytime.

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