Hot, gay, backed by Elton… but we still won’t vote for him.

Life of Brian

We love this man. He is Brian Paddick and he has a lot going for him.

He’s sexy, he’s an ex-cop who looks great in uniform, he is of gay, he championed a softening of drugs laws, Elton’s backing him, he’s a Liberal (big ‘L’). Oh, and he’s always been very nice to us when we’ve bumped into him.

But when it comes to the job of Mayor of London, we are sorry, but there is only one candidate. And it ain’t Boris Johnson, no matter what that daft George Wayne of Vanity Fair might say.

We’re coming out early. Vote for Ken!

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11 comments to “Hot, gay, backed by Elton… but we still won’t vote for him.”

  1. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, controversial.
    I too will be voting for Ken.

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  2. I’d bum him, but I wouldn’t vote for him.

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  3. I’d vote for him if it wasn’t for the cheeeeenius that is Ken. A politician who actually, you know, does something.

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  4. He’s a nice bloke, but dim. This is the man who thought it was a good idea to decriminalise weed, even though local GPs begged him not to, because they were already inundated with psychosis cases. But hey, if it made life easier for the coppers, who the fuck cares? Considering he will be aiming to govern an ‘international city’, it would also be nice to have someone whose international relations expertise extend beyond have a pretty Brazilian on their arm.

    As for those voting for Ken. You are clearly thick as shit. The man is corrupt beyond belief. I say use the power of your vote wisely, and abstain. If only they had a ‘none of the above’ category, to express one’s disdain for all the candidates.

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  5. Vote for Consuela – she’s your man!

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  6. Her Royal Highness has never at all minded a dim bulb. He has’Bedrooom Eyes’ and a potential for muff diving either sex. We Approve. That’s all you Council People need to know….

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  7. I’m sorry, but Ken is a total lying, stealing,treacherous, hateful little man. Everyone should watch the Channel 4 Dispatches programme to see where all your hard earned money is being flung away – got a company not even registered at companies house ? Please take £30,000 and disappear! And don’t even get me started on bendy Buses… Boris is just a loofah made human – so Paddick it is – yaaaay !

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  8. You know what, Pootietang, I agree with all you say especially those dirty, stinky, Trisha-on-wheels bendy fucking buses, but – and perhaps I’m a little ashamed about this – I’m still voting for Ken. Boris is a dick, pure and simple, and lives in cloud-cuckoo land. Paddick is sweet and bummable but is terribly politics-lite and doesn’t really know much about anything; Ken – now he really has affected a lot of stuff in this city and there’s no denying that. We certainly wouldn’t have gotten the Olympics if Boris or Brian were in charge, and let’s face it, the bendy buses were more a Euro Union thing (the retards can’t jump on the back of a Routemaster? Make them get cabs!!). So yes, it’s possibly a best of a bad buch situation but Ken gets mine. I agree with Consuela, mind – a ‘none of the above’ category would be nice as not voting at all is a terrible abuse of democracy.

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  9. Hands off Kenneth, the only politician who actually does something. ‘Oh, global warming. Let’s talk about it for the next 25 years until every last fucking ice cube down Bungalow 8 has melted.’ No, do what Ken does: ban lorries and make Chelsea Tractors pay £25 a head to drive into town. Don’t believe anything in that corrupt Dispatches thing. It’s a case of journalism trying to be edgy for the sake of it. Kenneth should bloody well sue.

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  10. Ken didn’t bring the Olympics to London, although he would like people to think he did. It was all Seb Coe who did the schmoozing with the IOC members who eventually voted for us.

    As for Ken doing something … yes, he generates taxes, but he wastes money like nobody else, and what’s worse, he does not produce proper accountability reports on his spending. The only good thing his office has done is pedestrianise the top end of Trafalgar Square, but the London Development Agency should be shut down. As for you DeeLee … if Ken is so innocent how come he didn’t defend himself and provide an interview, and indeed, if it was so wrong how come he isn’t suing? His silence speaks volumes.

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  11. Oh, and not voting at all is not an abuse of democracy. The ability to choose is exactly what a democracy is about. We’re not forced to vote, and neither are we denied the right. Politicians should earn a vote, and not expect it on the basis of ‘you’re the best of a bad bunch’.

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