Fag Hag Diary

We heart Faggy


Happy Valentine’s Day, my darlings!

Crack open the Somerfield Champenoise, caress your 4ft 11 card from Clinton’s featuring a peach coloured bear clutching a red heart. Eat that chocolate heart wrapped in red tin foil that’s been sitting in the Turkish shop a wee bit too long and tastes like the stale pensioners’ chocolate your old nana sent you in the post…

And put on that Haywoode 12″ of ‘Then You Go Send Me Roses’ (what the dickens ever happened to that lovely lady with the red rubber and the shoulder blades and the overly flexed legs who didn’t look at all like she’d had sexual reassignment surgery?)

So, I hope you have all you dreamed of and I wish you joy and happiness but above all this, I wish you… the goddam seeing-to of the frigging century. I’m off to watch my SkyPlus of Liza on Alan Titchmarsh this afternoon… Valentine’s experiences don’t get more special than that.

Oh, and talking of Haywoode…

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One comment to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. Had completely forgotten about Haywoode. He/she was good. Whatever happened to him/her?

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