Mo Fayed – the most unwelcome man in Britain – has been letting his imagination get carried away with itself again. It’s all them dolly chocolates on the ground floor of Harrods, see – they go straight to your head. And your waistline. Repeat after us, Mo’ – eating’s cheating!
Anways, back to the point in sausage-fingered-hand. Mo Fayed – the most unwelcome man in Britain (you’re not getting that passport – read between the lines, ma’am!) is still driveling on about that Diana business, ranting to anyone within earshot about the fact that it’s all a BIG CONSPIRACY and Diana was ASSASSINATED! ASSASSINATED, we tell you, and it’s that family who live in the big house on The Mall that did it.
Giving evidence – under oath, people. Under oath – at the High Court today, Mo did claim amongst other bizarre things that Prince Philip – who he called a ‘racist’ and a ‘Nazi’ – was the leader of the death plot. Oh and listen to what he also said about Prince Philip, it’s funny: ‘It is time to send him back to Germany or where he came from. You want to know his original name, it ends with Frankenstein.’
Oh Mo, have you been getting your history of Britain from Cliff’s Notes again? And we wouldn’t start bandying around the ‘go back to where you came from’ business, as that’s a tricky one with you.
Oh but this is the best bit. Mo went on to list ALL the people that, according to him, himself and nobody else, were involved in the assassination of Diana and Dodi…
They are: Prince Charles, Prince Philip, Tony Blair, High Court judges, Paul Burrell, police chiefs, senior politicians, the secret services of Britain and France, the CIA, newspaper editors and even Diana’s sister. He surely forgot Pinky and Perky, that funny woman with the mole at number 57, Fern Britten, and Diana Ross (but not The Supremes).
This is the coroner, Lord Justice Scott Baker’s, response: ‘There seems to be an awful lot of people involved in this conspiracy.’
Read more daft-ness, here.