Faggy’s BRITS de-briefing
When Kate Nash (we see what you were trying to do with that dress but coral is best left under sea-level darling) picked up her Brit award last night for best cockney in a supporting pant or somat or nothink, she thanked her old alma mater. Not the Guildhall School of Music, not Kings College, London, but the ‘Brits school’ (scrunches up mouth like Lady Bracknell saying, ‘a handbag?’). And then she told the assembled throng of ‘Brit school’ students this proved you needn’t worry if you weren’t academic and didn’t get into uni. Ahh that’s so lovely.
Well, Aunty Fag Hag who has a fair few more wrinkles and a teensy bit more life experience than Kate would like to just add one thing to that – what a pile of festering faeces.
Not academic in my experience usually means, ‘I find schoolwork hard and boring and would rather be singing la la la and painting daisies’. Wouldn’t we all love but some fucker has to pay attention at school and keep the economy going whilst we’re waiting for you to make it. But what if you’re the next Reynolds Girls or the next Pepsi and Shirlie I hear you cry? That’s easy. Do what every other performer has done before the invention of Brit Schools (‘a handbag?’) – sleep with Prince.