Hello my darlings! The Faggy is off to share a fondant fancy or two with Charlie Cox, the not particularly heejous manchild who rocked a fairytale frock-coat so beautifully in Stardust, but just had to drop by for a swift bitcheroo about Oscar frockage:
Katherine Heigl’s red number – dramatique but what up with oil barons’ ball hair?
Dame Helen – flawless in oxblood and j’adoring and coveting chic little sleeves to conceal potential bar mitzvah arms
Penny Cruz – bonker Karl Lagerfeld comes up trumps. Who knew!
Rosamund Pike – no, love.
Johnny Travolta – special mention for weirdest ‘psycho bedsit-queen hair dyed over kitchen sink’ in world.
Speaking of which…