Our thoughts on this year’s Oscars include the following:
a) Marion Cotillard? J’a-freaking-dore. And her fella makes us want to touch ourselves inappropriately.
b) Dame Julie Christie? ‘Tis sadness, but we refer you to the aforementioned.
c) Tilda Swinton and her frock? We liked. Them Oscars folk can’t cope with anything vaguely eccentric, and that wasn’t really vaguely eccentric. It just had an arm ‘missing’. And how many Hollywood trouts could carry off the no make-up thing? ‘Xactly. And the woman’s 47! Ooh, and her gennelman caller also kind of makes us want to touch ourselves inappropriately.
d) Javier Bardem? Oh hello.
e) GMTV’s Carla Romano? No.
Now for the list of winners. When we say list, we mean, like, the *counts* six winners we care about…
Best Film: No Country for Old Men
Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Best Actress: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Now let’s look at a picture of Javier Bardem…