Go Tranny, Go Tranny, Go Tranny, Go Tranny, etc!

Simon and Garfunkel?

Oh Tranny Banks, how we j’adore thee.

We j’adore how you went to the Transsexual school of modelling; we j’adore how you’re hammier than a very hammy thing with ham on the side and sprinkled with ham-flavoured ‘ham’; we j’adore how we get a funny tingle when you say, ‘I have ten beautiful girls standing in front of me’ and we scream back, ‘Where?’. But now we’re j’adoring the fact that you have become that very special thing indeed, a self-proclaimed gay icon, which is also a very risky thing indeed and hasn’t been attempted since Lisa ‘Huge Big Frame’ Riley uttered the immortal words, ‘The gays love me’ before disappearing into the heavily Glade-scented ether somewhere north of here.

The incident of which we speak took place during Tranny’s ‘Tyra Banks Show’ (we’re assuming there’s a typo there somewhere), when our Tranny invited Republican Mike Huckabee to come on over and answer some questions about the gays and whether they will burn in hell or no.

There now follows the transcript of said conversation betwixt our heroine Tranny (hooray!) and the Republican (booooo!), wherein the former proclaims her iconic status amongst the bummers. The fact that Mike Huckabee merely compounds his bigotry towards les homos is actually by-the-by. This is all about Tranny, people. How fun…

Tranny: Do you want the gay vote?

Mike: Sure, I want every vote. Seriously, I want to be president of everybody. And I can disagree with people over a choice they make in their life over a lifestyle and still be their president and still say I want to keep you free, I want to keep your country safe, I want to make your taxes lower not higher. I want to solve some issues like the problems we have in education and rebuild our health care system, and I think whether a person is straight or gay, they want a president who is solving issues, not just pointing out differences among people… I’ve had people who are gay that worked on my staff. It’s not like I’m some homophobe.

Tranny: I’m asking you so many questions about this because I love the gays and the gays love me. And I know I cannot walk down the street here in New York City if I didn’t press that issue and truly ask you that.

Mike: I think you should. I think people will respect my views on that; I respect theirs. The great thing about America is, we can have totally different viewpoints and we can do it without having animosity and hatred. This is one of the great countries where you can have sharp disagreements without killing each other over it. That’s where I think we need to celebrate what is great about America, and that is, we all don’t have to agree.

ie. Mike hates the gays.

ie #2 Tranny loves the gays and the gays love her. Hurrah!

The end.

ps. Tyra, honey – your Gay Icon Welcome Pack’s in the post. The badge is sticky-backed – pins fuck up a fine-knit blouson.

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2 comments to “Go Tranny, Go Tranny, Go Tranny, Go Tranny, etc!”

  1. Gay icon? I think we’ll be the judge of that!

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  2. I think Mike Huckabee is this year’s New Gay Icon.

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