Hands up who wants to be Paris Hilton’s friend! Oh.

Cunty

Dirty Paris Hilton doesn’t have any friends. Hooray!

So very sad is she, that she’s decided to find a new friend in the modern way – via reality telly. Some people call it television, others ‘TV’.

Dirty Paris Hilton is therefore in talks with a telly production company to find herself a new best friend and let people like us point and guffaw at the process. It’s also known in the business as ‘Look at me I need the attention ’cause I’m a cunt’.

According to US Weekly, a list of potential NBFs (that’s what the kids say. S’cool) will gradually be whittled down until they find some sad loser who will henceforth be known as a skid-mark on popular culture. Alongside the bukaki of popular culture that is dirty Paris Hilton. They’ll be a hot pair.

Someone said the following:

‘The show is going to be about her searching for a new best friend. Paris is tired of the haters.’

We’re not.

There now follows an artist’s impression of the ‘talks’ Paris Hilton is having with a production company:

*adopts the voice of a four-year-old special needs child, the kind that makes you want to tear out people’s spines*

Paris Hilton: Like, hi [‘Hi’ in this instance has 14 syllables. Watch ‘The Hills’.]

Production company: Hello.

Paris Hilton: Like, yeah. [‘Yeah’ also has 14 syllables. Actually, 73.]

Production company: So, this TV show…

Paris Hilton: Like, I know. [‘Know’ has 198 syllables. You get the point.]

Production company: Tell us your thought process…

Paris Hilton: Like, you know, like, friends, like, me, like, yeah? [Note the rising intonation at the end. That bit’s crucial.]

Production company: You’re a cunt.

*ends*

 

 

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3 comments to “Hands up who wants to be Paris Hilton’s friend! Oh.”

  1. Hehe. I for one shall be watching this. Unless I find something better to do. I for one shall be watching this.

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  2. Never has the word cunt been more appropriate.

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  3. […] Me-me-me.tv – Entertainment gossip and gorgeous things wrote an interesting post today on Hands up who wants to be Paris Hiltonâs friend! Oh.Here’s a quick excerpt Dirty Paris Hilton doesn’t have any friends. Hooray! So very sad is she, that she’s decided to find a new friend in the modern way – via reality telly. Some people call it television, others ‘TV’. Dirty Paris Hilton is therefore in talks with a telly production company to find herself a new best friend and let people like us point and guffaw at the process. It’s also known in the business as ‘Look at me I need the attention ’cause I’m a cunt’. According to US Weekly, a list of potential […]

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