Nadine Coyle’s going out with Josh Hartnett. Neither are we.

Get off me!

Nadine Coyle – who has the sort of accent that strips wallpaper. And the skin off small children – is apparently going out with Josh Hartnett.

Josh has recently been linked with Kirsten Dunst, Rihanna, inexplicable-supermodel Agyness Deyn, Rumer ‘Shit, the genes skipped a generation’ Willis, Helena Christensen and Diana Ross and all the Supremes.

Imagine the scene: Office of Nadine Coyle’s PR; ‘group meeting’ over a Pret buffet; topic = Get Nadine A Profile In The States, Ongoing’; work experience sporting this month’s fringe desperate to be noticed; brain storm commences; workie – or Tilly, as they’re affectionately known in some quarters – has a ‘idea’; someone makes a call to someone else; Nadine has a new boyfriend; Tilly becomes a megastar and is seen at all the right meetings.

Rumour has it Josh Hartnett’s next girlfriend will be Ann Boleyn.

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7 comments to “Nadine Coyle’s going out with Josh Hartnett. Neither are we.”

  1. Totally the moosiest of all them Girls Aloud. And the most dreary. And what is that accent? It’s like she just uses random vowels.

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  2. Gosh, there is something so deeply unattractive about Nadine Coyle. Can’t quite put my finger on it. She’s sort of a 45-year-old woman in the body of a 12-year-old. And yes, that fucking accent! Give it a rest, luv.

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  3. She’s not fun like Cheryl and Sarah.

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  4. She has a no-personality face.

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  5. So, are all her ‘boyfriends’ gay Americans? What is it with her Cheryl? Can’t they date any men who actually like the womens?

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  6. I’ve lined her up as my next wife.

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  7. Eh? What did I miss. Apart from the ‘e’ on Anne.

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