‘Katie was Tom’s fourth choice’. Sucker.

Cannon and Ball

Katie Holmes was apparently Tom Cruise’s FOURTH choice for bride of Chucky, so claims an ex-Scientologist.

Marc Headley, talking to NY’s Daily News’ Page Six, claims a list of potential brides and baby-vessels was drawn up by the religion’s top cheese – David Mascavige – for Thomas ‘Thumb’ Cruise to finger through, like one would in a celebrity boutique, if you will.

*gags at the mere thought of Tom’s primordial dwarved fingers*

Tom and Scientology bloke invited a bunch of female famouses into a ‘casting for a new Mission Impossible film’. But wait for it, it was a mere guise, people. A GUISE. You know, to lure the famouses in.


These are the other famouses involved, starting with first choice, ending in third. Just in case you’ve forgotten, Katie Holmes was fourth choice in this sad, sad tale of woe. FOURTH.

1) Jennifer Garner

2) Jennifer Alba

3) Scarlett Johansson

And of the three, only Scarlett fell for the bait, apparently. The other three evidently thought the mere concept of starring with Tom Cruise was hateful.

When Scarlett arrived for the ‘audition’, however, and-we-quote ‘she found out it was the Scientology center in Hollywood, (and) freaked out and didn’t do a tape.’

Oh but when Katie arrived (gullible much?) Tom apparently told the grand worshipful retard of Scientology or whatever they’re called that she was the one.

Gets you right here, dunnit *punches hand to heart, lightly*


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4 comments to “‘Katie was Tom’s fourth choice’. Sucker.”

  1. I was SO his fifth.

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  2. Er, honey, I think I was fifth!

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  3. I was 138th. Beat that!

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  4. Being dead SAVED this Queen

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