Praise be my pumpkins. The sweet, innocent, gentle, money-hating, animal-loving Geordie lady who tragically lost a leggy (boo!) but became a famous as a direct result (yey!), and then went on to pull a rich man (cue orchestra from Fiddler on the Roof) has finally got her regional manicured hands on some lovely lolly!
25 million is allegedly the sum that is being awarded to Justin Toper in drag, that’s *frantically types in numbers to Hello Kitty calculator* 4 million poundettas a year for opening and closing her legs a few times. A lovely job well done darling!
And congratuwelldone for getting out whilst your boobs are still above your beltline because, as they say in Showgirls, ‘there’s always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you’. Darlin’.