Oh, look, it’s Enid Blyton’s Famous Five, the upgrade!

Where's the lezzer?

And not a lick of ginger beer amongst them?

Remember the Famous Five? Four human beings (including one probable lesbian in the shape and format of George) and one dog from whom no smuggler or blackmailer was safe? Well, they’ve been given the Disney treatment (ie updated, watered down, and stripped of all possible charm).

In the new TV version, we have Jo, Max, Allie and Dylan, all children of the original line-up (they don’t mention whether Jo has two mummies). It’s all a bit traumatically up-to-date for our liking with…

iPods where there used to be a comb and some tissue paper, mobile phones where it used to be all about a torch flashing morse code from a bedroom window and instead of the smugglers of Spiggy Hole, there’s the man with an illegal DVD factory who’s embedding subliminal messages to make children buy junk food (obviously, Disney are not regretting their abandonment of the Happy Meals sponsorship).

‘There will be no smart haircuts and all the children will wear tracksuits and trainers at all times instead of snappy shorts/tank top combos,’ said a spokesman (actually we made that up). ‘They will be internet savvy and probably like the collected works of Shane Ward.’ We made that up too. ‘This reflects what children today like to do in their spare time.’ That one’s real.

The Enid Blyton society, meanwhile, is up in arms. Especially as one of the children is mixed race.

And there will be absolutely no Dick this time round!

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

More dolly #content:

3 comments to “Oh, look, it’s Enid Blyton’s Famous Five, the upgrade!”

  1. […] admin wrote a fantastic post today on “Oh, look, itâs Enid Blytonâs Famous Five, the upgrade!”Here’s ONLY a quick extractAnd not a lick of ginger beer amongst them? Remember the Famous Five? Four human beings (including one probable lesbian in the shape and format of George) and one dog from whom no smuggler or blackmailer was safe? … […]

  2. **weeps** IS NOTHING SACRED?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  3. Shocking behaviour. Those Disney folks should be hung, drawn and quarterd. Well, it is Easter. Oh no sorry, you’re right. That’s crucifixion.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Leave a comment