Lock up your sons (and your public restrooms): George Michael cometh!

Here he is!

You know gorgeous Giorgious. He can’t just go and do a tour. It’s got to be a big old drama based on the state of the universe etc. Which is why he’s going to America before the whole music industry implodes and people are forced to flee to the hills before the monsters get them.

‘It’s the end of a certain era,’ sayeth George. ‘And I’m not really sure I want to be part of what’s next.’ Especially while the doobie drawer is full and he’s very handy for the Heath at leastaways. ‘There are other ways I can express the things I want to.’ We make no comment at this juncture. ‘And pop music stopped being a place to express much lyrically a while back.’

What, so no more insights like ‘wake me up before you go-go, don’t leave me hanging on like a yo-yo’? 

The tour starts on 17th June in San Diego (handy for that naval base!) and ends in Florida on 3rd August. ‘I don’t want to do anything on this scale again. No more stadiums,’ says GM (he might not be the one to decide, without being overly harsh). ‘I’d like to be the Tony Bennett for my generation.’ Yeah, wouldn’t we all?

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3 comments to “Lock up your sons (and your public restrooms): George Michael cometh!”

  1. Now see, I want to love and respect him and all that, but all this ‘i’ve been there, done that’ posturing is just dull. ‘Too Funky’ was, admittedly, very poignant.

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  2. George Michaels! Tell him that “Jesus to a Child” aside, I find his output emotionally vapid. I love the “I’m not really sure I want to be part of what’s next.” Don’t you have to be involved to be apart of what’s next? And the I don’t want to do stadiums is priceless! I thought maybe we would just perform in public restrooms – the accoustics are so much better.

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  3. It’s always the end of an era for Geroge. And then he comes back with exactly the same formula as before. That weed is terrible for the short-term memory.

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