Kerry Katona dead!

R.I.P.

Sorry, ‘rushed to hospital with a terminal illness’. Really! So were we!

Big fat liar Kerry Katona (trademark) has apparently been winched to hospital suffering with *flicks through British Medical Journal*  ‘a pain in her legs and feet’. Maybe the circulation has stopped bothering going there, sluggish as it is with Iceland vol-au-vents and deep fried camemberts.

‘We are praying for her but only time will tell,’ says her spokesperson Max Clifford, who reckons she might have pre-eclampsia, which kills about 10 mothers in Britain each year (less than snakes down the toilet and inadvertantly eating a donkey then). ‘Mark’s very concerned like the rest of us,’ he goes. Hope he’s not including us in there. ‘But she is a fighter and we’ve all got our fingers crossed.’ 

Pregnant BFLKK was reportedly so ill at one point she actually put down her cigarette!

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4 comments to “Kerry Katona dead!”

  1. Please don’t get my hopes up like that!!

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  2. i think she would not lie

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  3. she has kids and who would lie if she has got kids to look after she is nice and she would nnot lie

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  4. Hi =) people often place jokes about kerry x but you just have to look into her lifestyle really =/ I mean come on she has like 5 fat bastard kids x that fuckin molly ha ha ha she really liked mammy’s iceland foods didn’t she xxxx Kerry needs to do something with her life =/ like get a job x or maybe die x :)

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