Finally, we’re part of the in-crowd! We’ve received a death threat from those retarded Phelps people! Hooray!

Get 'em young...

So you know how fond we are of hearing the latest from those nice Phelps people – you know, those ladies that doth protest too much against the gays and thinks they’re all EVIL and have really rational trains of thought… YES, THEM! Anyways, a member of their family has only gone and sent us our very own, cut-out-and-keep, pop-it-in-a-mother-of-pearl-picture-frame-in-the-downstairs-loo death threat. It’s true.

*has a wet wee*

It’s from one Katherine Phelps off-of the Westboro Home for Repressed Homosexuals, tagline ’Please just bum us now. PLEASE’ Baptist Church and it’s in response to this story we did a few weeks back (as well as the odd impartial comment we’ve made over the months) and we’re happy to report the Phelps family are as sane as ever. It goes like this:

‘The violence and perversion coming out of the mouths of you fags is prima facia evidence that what the Westboro Baptist Church is saying, is the absolute truth and you all are just throwing a little fit.

‘I would much prefer to be retarded before being perverted like you are! I WILL be praying to the living God, just like King David did, to kill any one of you that have the audacity to lift your hand against his Church and the representatives thereof.’

Things you may like to make a note of re. our very own death threat include:

- ‘Prima facia’? OoooooOOOOoooooooh!

- So you’ve admitted you ARE retarded, then?

- Note the use of capitals in ‘WILL’. *gets scared*

- ‘the audacity to lift your hand against his Church and the representatives thereof’. What, this hand…?

Oooh, girl!
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11 comments to “Finally, we’re part of the in-crowd! We’ve received a death threat from those retarded Phelps people! Hooray!”

  1. FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

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  2. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
    That deserves another ‘hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha’.
    Those Phelps people – they’re comedy geniuses!

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  3. How brilliant. It must really rile the Phelps to think everyone’s just laughing in their faces – and how arrogant of them to think that everyone in the world – YES, EVERYONE – is wrong except them. Like God would choose freaks like the Phelps to be his mouthpiece. Anway, the baby Jesus was SOOOOOO gay – God PERSONALLY told me.

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  4. Literally SOOOOOOOOOO jaloux.

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  5. Your first death threat? Honey, welcome to my world.

    This is the stuff of life.

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  6. How fun.

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  7. As death threats go, that was quite enjoyable.

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  8. I’d like a death threat from a religious nut off-of a cult where they use the wrong latin phrases. Why do I miss out on everything? S’not fair.

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  9. And the words coming from their mouths are “prima extretia”.
    Hope St. Peter fucks em at the Pearly Gates and semds them down to us in Hell! Join the party Katherine! It’s hot.

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  10. Oh, they’re so precious! I personally can’t wait to go to hell, since it’s going to be a right royal penis party, according to them. I’ll be able to make up for lost time x

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  11. As a Christian I have heard numerous podcasts and articles on these nut-jobs. Us in the Christian community can’t stand these idiots, and we even get yelled at for being crazy. Go to xxxchurch.com and find one of their old podcast where they call them and interview them…it turns into them yelling at these guys. Pretty much in their own world they are the only ones right. Oh and the “church” is litterally just his LARGE family. I’m baptist and they make a REALLY bad name for us…not that we are perfect though

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