Hello. Aaaaaaaand, begin.
So, right, like, we’re normally too busy stroking our own or somebody else’s hair in a louche manner and/or bumming to take much notice of anything that isn’t on Living TV, but t’seems those poor little children who just want the chance to be nice and liberal and non-cunty when they progress to adult Gap are being STOPPED IN THEIR TRACKS by people who are a-feared of the gays.
Imagine the scenario, if you will, in point form:
– Homophobia is at record levels in schools. It’s true. Everyone says so.
– Schools are told, via the National Curriculum, to do something about it.
– One thing, ’tis suggusted, is to tell the kids nice stories that involve not only your ‘traditional’ hetero love triangles, but those betwixt people of the same gender. You know, *whispers* gays.
– For eg: And Tango Makes Three, a children’s book in which two male penguins living together in New York Zoo adopt a chick. Sweet. Or, King and King, where a prince is offered three princesses to marry but eventually chooses their brother. Who the fuck wouldn’t? All very nice, we think you’d agree.
– Oh but no. No really, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Some parents known in the business as Muslim have gone loop-di-loop down Bristol way and protested at their kids’ school and everything over the use of said lovely tomes, saying it’s against the laws of that book they’re always going on about.
– ‘In Islam, homosexual relationships are not acceptable,’ said Farooq Siddique, a representative of the Muslim Cultural Society who’s making excuses for the retarded parents.
– Honey, Shoe Express chunky wedges with white socks aren’t acceptable to us but, you know, there’s drinking and bumming to do. Priorities, etc.
– The end.