So this is Geri off-of Spice Girls’ new fella. His name is Ivan ‘Flipz’ Velez (we’re saying nothing) and he is one of the fabulous Spice Girls dancers (and apparently the one who taught Cruz how to break dance, so, yeah, thanks for that).
But what Geri seems not to have learnt from celebrity ladies that have gone before her is that you never get down with the dancers. And here’s for why…
a). Everyone always assumes they’re gay (and this one looks a little too much like George Michaels – spooky for Gez who always had a crush on said Mr. G – with too-plucked eyebrows to escape that particular line of enquiry). Exhibit A: LeAnne Rimes’ old man.
b). Jimmy Gulzar.
c). Jennifer Lopez’s second husband. Or was it third?
d). Kevin Federline (even though he turned out to be the ‘brains’ in that relationship)
e). One of Bananarama, who actually had a child with one of hers, even though when we asked her if she ever had extra-curriculars with any of the dancers, she forgot she’d got knocked up by one!
And we rest our Louis Vuitton case m’lord.