Fag Hag Diary

Faggy knows best

A warning from Fag Hag…

A few years back when men were men and hair straighteners still said Jennifer Aniston instead of 11-year-old council kid with cellulite, I received a text from an old schoolfriend. ‘Who’s it gonna be, honey – Will or Gareth?’ was the burning question she wanted to put to me. And ever since then, you can set your watch by Fag Hag Sister satirising said text at every significant political event.

‘Who’s it gonna be, honey – Kerry or Bush?’ made me laugh. ‘Who’s it gonna be, honey – Mugabe or Mugabe?’ raised a smile. And sure enough today I received one saying, ‘Who’s it gonna be, honey – Ken or Boris?’ that made me laugh so much I did a little bit of wee. At the idea that the abino from Foul Play would even be an option.

You see, I would rather vote for a lap dancer working at Sunset Strip in London’s glittering Soho than Boris the albino from Foul Play. I’d even rather vote for cellar dad Josef Fritzl, my current fave crim dad. So go off to the polls my darlings and don’t whatever you do vote for racist homophobe fat arse albino – his red eyes willl steal your soul…

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8 comments to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. Hooray for Fag Hag! Wise words indeedio.

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  2. Funny yet thought-provoking.

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  3. So you’re saying vote for the Anti-Semite instead?

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  4. Vote for the gay!

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  5. I voted Ken first choice, Brian second. Most of my sane friends did the same.
    I’m actually very worried about this.
    Boris is a disaster of epic proportions in waiting.

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  6. Yes, Ken Livingstone and his distinct lack of openness when coming to explaining what he did with tens of millions of pounds … he’s certainly the right person to vote for.

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  7. Oh for fuck’s sake Consuela… are you seriously saying Boris is the best option for London? You should be fucking ashamed of yourself. Boris is, pure and simple, a complete and utter cunt. ‘Distinct lack of openness’? Is that the best you can do? You obviously take everything the Evening Standard tells you as gospel.

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  8. Ken isn’t anti-semitic, you idiot. How silly of you to fall for that Evening Standard-subsidised anti-Ken bullshit. His comment was a throwaway remark that was completely and eroneously blown out of all proportion. Boris is, hower, a homophobe. Of biblical proportions. And an idiot. And doesn’t give a fuck about London.

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