Just in case you haven’t voted yet, Big London people – don’t vote for that homophobic twat with retarded hair, Boris Johnson, who literally floated up the Thames on a Ryvita biscuit.

Professional Cunt.

Like you didn’t know already, Boris Johnson is a cunt and would send this cheeeeeeeenius city of ours down the proverbial back-bottom hole if he were to be voted in as Mayor of London in today’s dolly elections.

And just in case you’d forgotten some of the things he’s said about gays in the past few years (people, there are SO many other reasons we je deteste the man, but these are especially pertinent), let us remind you of the following homophobic vitriol that has come out of Boris Johnson’s dirty fat mouth:

*takes notebook in left hand; feathered quill in right*

‘Gay marriage can only ever be a ludicrous parody of the real thing.’
Daily Telegraph, 2005

‘If gay marriage was okay – and I was uncertain on the issue – then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.’
From his book, Friends, Voters, Countrymen, 2001

‘We don’t want our children being taught some rubbish about homosexual marriage being the same as normal marriage, and that is why I am more than happy to support Section 28.’
Daily Telegraph, 2000

‘The clerics gave us (journalists) a wigging for being so mean to the Church of England… Why did we draw attention to tricky subjects like homosexuality, aka the Pulpit Poofs’ issue?’
The Spectator, 2000

‘I’m not bisexual so far… not that I would condemn myself if I later discovered I were.’
Daily Telegraph, 2008

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More dolly #content:

13 comments to “Just in case you haven’t voted yet, Big London people – don’t vote for that homophobic twat with retarded hair, Boris Johnson, who literally floated up the Thames on a Ryvita biscuit.”

  1. CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.

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  2. … although I doubt very much a Ryvita could withhold Boris’s weight, the disgusting fat munter that he is.
    BTW, I love a fatty. Just not fatty’s who are cunts.

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  3. I’m voting for Brian Paddick, because he was a very tender lover

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  4. Do you know what, it’s not even that he’s a homophobe. It’s that he’s completely useless. He would take on the whole job as if it was some kind of joke. Lots of parties for his friends. Lots of swanking about. It really will be a disaster if he gets in. Please everyone vote Ken now.

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  5. The man is a twat. Won’t have him in the house.

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  6. On a serious note, how depressing is it that he even gets put forward? Don’t we deserve real politicians. Is the only way the Tories can get a sniff by putting comedy characters forward. Why not Basil Brush or Roland Rat. At least Roland Rat’s a Londoner.

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  7. I like him

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  8. The word ‘cunt’ was invented for this man.

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  9. Well, I hope anyone who voted for him is proud of themselves. If you’re going to vote for a muppet, why not Fozzy Bear.

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  10. To everyone who voted for this cunt – hang your heads in shame. It’s a seriously depressing day when the ‘man’ who utters these words is voted in to serve what is (was) the greatest, and supposedly most liberal, city on the planet.

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  11. Yes, everyone who voted for this man, hang your head in shame. If it wasn’t for you, we’d still have a mayor who employs people who can’t seem to remember what they did with millions of your hard-earned pounds. We’d have a mayor who has overseen a huge increase in teenage violence, whilst paying lip service to ‘providing more acitivities for them’ … where they fuck are these ‘activities’? We’d have a Mayor who has more than doubled your travel costs, whilst forcing you to subsidise the free travel of these bored teenage gangs, allowing them to travel the city at their will and mug you for free! We’d have a supposed socialist mayor who has sat on his arse and done absolutely nothing to convince the Prime Minister that it’s not quite right that the city’s billionaires pay a smaller percentage of tax than the nannies and cleaners who look after their mansions. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE PEOPLE OF LONDON?

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  12. Frankly, I’m a little more worried about the fact that a homophobe has been voted into office than kids’ fares being subsidised. Kids’ fares should be subsidised, anyway – you can’t punish the majority of society because of the few bad ones. Also, Consuela – seriously, how stupid are you? ‘Overseen a huge increase in teenage violence’? Like he’s there art-directing it! Crime is societal, and is never a result of the present government. Do a bit of research. I think you’ll find Thatcher’s legacy has far more to answer for.

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  13. Oh, please … this government has had over 10 years to correct ‘the Thatcher legacy’, and have done absolutely nothing but offer soundbites, with zero action. Remember Tony Blair’s commitment to respect a few years ago? Ken was right behind him, promising to get kids off the streets, and into a whole new era of youth clubs … but nothing has appeared. Ken also promised more police on the streets, but instead we get the Primark version who have no powers of arrest, so can actually do little to prevent crime. So you see, Ken and his Labour chums are very responsible. Of course, another feature of the Thatcher legacy, was the decision to support growth in our financial services industry, which is what has kept this country afloat. But Gordon got too greedy and let them run amok with minimal governance, and that’s been fucked up now as well.

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