Yes, Mariah Carey does truly and honestly look like this. If you’re looking at her through a square of lino, that is.


Now we love Mariah. Won’t hear a word against her. But come on people. What you see before you – Tranny Banks-style – on the cover of iD magwoizeen is a nearly forty-year-old woman with a tendency towards barrelness. And we thought we’d already talked about the baby-girl thing with the freaking fingers in the mouth.

Just makes us think of this most genius of songs by our beloved Jackie Beat, ‘Retouch My Body’, which sample lyrics: ‘Retouch my body/ Stretch me some more/ Take off 60 pounds/ Then take off ten more…’

Hear the whole song by clicking here

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