Bernard Matthews go home – there’s no turkey at Eurovision

What the duck? Oireland is out of the Eurovision song contest for the first time in gawd knows how many years. It would seem the ludicrous entry from Dustin the Turkey just didn’t cut the mustard in last night’s semi-finals.

Meanwhile the UK is left with the ludicrous entry from Dustbin the Andy Abraham, a shit-heap of a song that’s bound to win the hearts and souls and points of a positively UK-loving Europe. Sarcasm much? Us?

For no reason other than to enjoy the candy floss hair and flammable potential of the set, here is Samantha J. Anus at Eurovish in 1991…

The shame.

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