Eurovish is looking up all of a sudden!

Frankly - can we speak frankly? - we’ve never been less excited about Eurovish since Samantha J. Anus went all political on us and, from the confines of a basque, lectured us on ‘Half the world is hungry…’. The turkey from Ireland has been voted out at semi-final stage, our bloody old dustman is perhaps the worst UK entry, like ever (bring back Coco, bring back freaking Jemini) and it really doesn’t matter who has a nice song, someone in the Lithuania region will win.

The only glimmer of excitement comes from the Russian entry - this fella, one Dima Bilan - who has promised to take his shirt off (like this!). Sources on the street in Belgrade, where it’s happening (and no, that’s not the same as Belgravia) are saying that he goes on to circulate among the crowd, wrapping his clothes around their necks ultimately ripping off velcro-sided trousers and putting his dick in their drinks. Well, we have located a shot of him naked with a bit of bollock showing. See that shot, and more interesting Eurovish entries after the jump…

Israel, using VPL to get the gay vote. It’s working.

While Macedonia go down the ‘diva and some hotties’ route, also working. Our critical money is on France, who have Sebastien Tellier representing. Our real money on somewhere a bit more Baltic.

Hear Terry Wogan rip the living piss out of the lot of them tomorrow night on BBC1 around 8 of the PM. Oh, and as for that bollock… Here it is!