Fag Hag Diary

Eat up and shut up Tuesday

Oh dear. Fernetta de Britton is in a big old sulkies. She’s flounced off This Morning in one of her forgiving red wrap dresses as modelled by women on Slim-Fast packets (alright already with the colour, ladies who lose weight. You’re not confined to black anymore, we get it. *Big Ricki Lake audience whoops! Cheers! And a scream that sounds a little like the woman wailing when Lady Di’s coffin first came out*).

And it looks like Fernetta ain’t coming back till… well that’s the problem with kiddy sulks – you tend to forget why you’re even sulking and next thing you know you’re still outside on the shit smeared cold pavement and it’s way too embarrassing to ever come back in. But this is all because Fernetta went and had a gastric band, a mad old lady and her incontinent cat wrote in and complained, and now she feels victimised by everyone and unsupported by the TV bosses.

Personally I think if she wants to insert an entire Rymans factory full of bands it’s her bizness. But if you get found out and people take the piss, in the name of Dr. Atkins and all that is holy don’t get mad love, get camp. In fact my advice to you is print yourself up a t-shirt saying, ‘I’m with the Band’, and get photographed with it looking skinny as hell.

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2 comments to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. I want a t-shirt saying ‘I’m With The Band’! Genius!

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  2. […] Fag Hag Diary …modelled by women on Slim-Fast packets (alright already with the colour, ladies who lose weight. You’re not confined to black anymore, we get… […]

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