This is our new favourite show. Said with so much irony it’s untrue. True story.

Out of bounds.

Calum Best off-of total cock, has signed up for a new reality series.

*slits wrists immediately*

MTV ‘Totally’ – which we believe is a range of programmes brought to you by MTV, involving talents of paraplegic proportions such as Lisa Scott Lee and Jodie Marsh – has roped in Calum Best to take a vow of abstinence. You know, ’cause Calum’s known for porking (god we hate that word but feel it’s appropriate in this context) gazillions of trouts, so this would be, like, a really hard thing for him to do and therefore presumably fun to watch in a reality show-esque environment. He’s also not allowed to wank. And he has to refrain from having a white wee for 50 whole days.

And how will we know he’s managing to abstain? ‘Cause he’ll be taking regular lie-detector tests. How Jeremy Kyle.

And he gets a prize at the end of it (or a forfeit, as the case may be), as decided by his bum-chums.

We can hardly contain ourselves.

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5 comments to “This is our new favourite show. Said with so much irony it’s untrue. True story.”

  1. He’s actually a very nice looking boy, just a total cock. Which totally negates the very nice looking bit.

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  2. Nice face, not keen on the loins area.

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  3. Love handles, innit. Not a hot look.

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  4. What I wouldn’t give to be locked in a room with him at the end of the 50 days with nothing but a swing and a tub of crisco.

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  5. I don’t really follow fashion much, but was this bloke really a model? Or was he a model only in the sense that he did a couple of ads for Ben Sherman, and Firetrap, and other such companies?

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