Let’s look at this in point form:
a) We j’adore Christian Bale oh yes we do.
Two) We’d bum Christian Bale oh yes we would.
iii) Christian Bale – who we love and would bum and then even perhaps bum some more – really ought to be riddeth of the mole thing [nose, top right]. We found it quite the distraction when watching him on the screen of an overpriced West End mulitplex last week – and that very night had dreams about grassy knolls. What does that tell you, hmmmn?
Quatre) It’s all a bit Jonathan Ross.
In conclusion) Christian Bale should spend less time slapping women around [allegedly, people, allegedly!] and more time tending to facial growths.