Now we’re huuuge fans of the legend that is Urethra, but honey those puppies should’ve been taken to the pound and put down a long time ago. The fact that the pearl necklace *gag* is firmly lodged in sweaty tit valley only serves to emphasise that our lady love needs to get off-of thine formidable booty and look after herself just a little bit more. Just a teeny weeny bit. We’re not talking Weight Watchers or Fat Fighters – just more of an ‘I’ll have ten chocolate croissants, instead of 20’ approach. Perhaps then she’d be able to get off the sofa without the aid of a prying bar and breath without that wheezing reminder of an impending heart attack.
Like daddy always said, ‘I’m mean to you because I love you’.