‘As If’ of the day
Ooh, the gosses are desperado for a bit of juicy news at the moment. And if they can’t get it, then they’ll damn well make it up!
Exhibit A: OKeydokey magoizine, US version, who have announced that Jennifer Aniston - former princess of all of television - has married ‘toy boy’ twat musician (who, incidentally, means nothing in the good old U of K) John Mayer (who performed with his shirt off at the weekend - the gay!)
They reckon it was a quiet affair at home (otherwise someone might have noticed, right). The dress was Vera Wang (which wedding dress isn’t Vera Wang these days?) and the Matron of Honour was Courteney Cox (who just happens to be her best/only friend).
Now, which other stories could we make up today to go on the cover of our mag?
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- Dave Salmoni, dolly bear.
- Ash. Ton. Kut. Cher.
- If looks could kill. Or at least give that cunty face a slap.
- Now, do you have ten minutes to see GaGa and Beyonce’s lez-sploitation movie? Trust us, it is laugh-out-loud funny. We even had to put down a cigarette
- Sharleen. Your questions popped deep withinside of her. Part the first.
I used to love the show As If. And I also used to love Asif off-of EastEnders.