You’re not wanted around here any more. Please leave.

'Just look through the picture and it should magically appear' We know that all publicity is good publicity (try telling that to Sienna Miller) and we shouldn’t really cover this story because by doing so we’re giving it more invaluable space ont’ webbery which, let’s face it, could be taken up with cute kittens or hot rowers but we just have to take time out to say, Dita Von Teese. Please fuck off.

DVT (which sounds like an STI that she most probably has and should think about patenting) has taken time out of writhing in a martini glass to ‘design’ and ‘model’ her own range of underwear for Wonderbra (oh how the mighty have fallen). By ‘model’ we mean we’re not actually sure she was present at the photo shoot since all the images look like cartoon versions of her smug self. Honey, any more airbrushing and you’d be one of those Magic Eye pictures.

As if the annoying pictures weren’t bad enough, the pasty one actually spoke human words, saying ‘I know the picture the paparazzi want is me coming out of Starbucks in jeans with my hair all messy, but that’s just not going to happen… I just think that when you take a minute to look your best, you get what you want. And I pretty much always get what I want.’

A bitch slap is quite clearly what you want.

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You’re not wanted around here any more. Please leave., 10.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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6 comments to “You’re not wanted around here any more. Please leave.”

  1. Hooray!!!! Thank you me-me-me for speaking the truth on this pointless, inspidid woman. Don’t kid yourself, DVT, that anyone gives a fuck about your palid, pointless self. At least get some gumption and get your flange out….

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  2. Oh hear hear. Deluded, much?

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  3. If this is the outcome, I think she needs to take more than a minute to look her best.

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  4. I’ve always had a soft spot for Deep Vein Thrombosis. She throws a great party.

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  5. At least she’s never been to rehab, throwen a phone at a maid, done jail, f’cked Jude Law or Rhys Ifans, joined Scientology, or adopted any Unfortunates. Well, there was the Marilyn Manson thing, but I like to think it shows Good Sense to get out of that mess…

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  6. Crikey! Whoever airbrushed the hell out of that photo should be fired! LadyMsSaint’s comment made me larf though …

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