Ooh, autumn telly. Or, ‘Autumn telly, ooh’.

Yeah, we know this is Polanski's version, but j'adore ca.

And it seems the theme of today’s show (well, Autumn’s shows plural) is: When in doubt, adapt an oldie. By which we don’t mean stick some wheels on Ulrika Jonsson‘s withered old torso and shove her down a very steep hill preferably with a sheer drop at the end, though that would be nice.

Oh no ladies ‘n’ germs, we mean that for our televisual delights come the season with the reddish brown leaves, we’ll be mostly watching adaptations of old people’s work, notably that of Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and Thomas Hardy.

Who. Knew. That would ever happen. It’s certainly. Never happened before.

Now don’t get us wrong, we loveth an adaptation of a good ye olde novel…. no, that’s it. We loveth an adaptation of a good ye olde novel.

So let’s get down to the Momma,-is-this-a-nit?-y gritty of what we’ll be snuggling up in front off really quite soon, hopefully with someone’s hand down our pants touching us inappropriately at the precise moment a lady in crinolin discovers smallpox whilst shopping for bonnets…

a) BBC1 – Tess of the d’Urbervilles, by Thomas Hardy. Gemma Arterton off-of latest James Bond plays Tess.  Eddie Redmayne, ginge off-of The Other Boleyn Girl and Savage Grace is also in it. We won’t tell you what happens, but it’s not quite what we’d call a rom-com.

Two) BBC1 – Little Dorrit, by Charles Dickens. ie. The one you’ve probably never read. Oh, and Andrew Davies has done the screenplay. ie. Hooray. Oh #2, the cast includes Tom Courtenay, Amanda Redman and the one whose entire performance in Lord of the Rings was replaced by CGI.

Trois) ITV1 – Lost in Austen, sort-of-by Jane Austen. This is Austen with a twist, we hear. Described as ‘Life On Mars in bonnets and corsets’ (oh dear), it’s about an Austen fan who finds Pride and Prejudice heroine Elizabeth Bennet in her bathroom. Obviously should’ve scrubbed harder. And spookily, Gemma Arterton’s also in this one. As is Alex Kingston, Hugh Bonneville and Lindsay Duncan. J’adore all ‘n’ sundry. Elliot Cowan plays Mr Darcy. Who looks a little like this. When we say a little, we mean he looks like this…

Ell. I. Ot.

Bum him, we would. We think. Though you never can tell with black and white.

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One comment to “Ooh, autumn telly. Or, ‘Autumn telly, ooh’.”

  1. Oh I fucking LOVE Natassja Kinski (almost said Kaplinski there) in that Tess of the d’Urbervilles. Remember watching it at school and being deeply moved/disturbed.

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