Professional Irish James Nesbitt fronted the ceremony and lots of tot was there to presenteth awards, notably the shiny headed Jason Statham who was as gravelly and Neanderthal as one would hope. And Mr. Big (real name unknown), who got to present a very excitable Meryl Streep Best Female Performance for Mamma Mia! In fact Mamma Mia! got a couple of gongs, one of which Björn Borg (or whatever that guy from Abba is called) picked up himself, accompanied by writer and producer types who went on for far too long for respectable tea-time telly viewing.
Nicole of Kidman got her pasty pins out in public for the first time since dropping her sprog and actually managed to move the the hole in that Botoxed blob known as her head for long enough to read actual words from an autocue in an altogether surprisingly charming manner. (We hate those Chanel ads, see, and she usually annoys us).
Another usually hateful character, yes Kylie, was unsurprisingly hateful – even more so because she got one of the most rapturous receptions of the night. It seems everybody still loves the ‘pint sized Princess of pop’ *bleurgh* aka ‘NLC Kylie’.
Man of the eve was thrice Olympic-Gold-medalist Chris Hoy though who came a-stage in a kilt and revealed his three gold medals from withinside of his sporran – prompting the little old lady behind us to worry about the possibility that the medals had been bashing against his winky. We heart old ladies. Gals after our own heart. Let’s remind ourselves what Chris Hoy looks like. Yup, noice…