Would this put you off doing steroids? Or just wearing a headscarf and looking like a wanker…?

Just say no, kids!

According to these ads from the US and America, if you take steroids (the ones for chunky muscs, not the ones for asthma), ‘there’s no hiding it. Eventually everyone will see you for what you really are. A fake. A fraud. An asterisk.’

Golly, that’s some tough lovin’, gym-frequenters… Thing is, we’re not buying it (as an advertising concept, that is.) This is for why:

a) A little too confrontational. Those steroid users are already cruising the ‘roid rage highway, so it’s like a red rag to a (very nicely honed indeed) bull.

2) The asterisk thing. Yeah, but no.

Three) The tell-tale signs, normally, are below the face. We’re talking spotty back, shrunken balls, tendency to beat the shit out of you for no reason (admittedly that’s not quite a physical trait, but we needed a third for rhythm.) And people who know these things (you know who you are, you very nicely honed rascals!) say you can tell the difference between a steroid-enhanced muscle and one bulked in the nice ole Grecian tradition. So, we guess we’re trying to say the image should have been of a) a spotty back b) tiny balls c) someone getting the shit beaten out of them. Or all of the above.

d) Oh, and the headgear.

Last one) Oh, and the fact that a whole load of steroid users don’t give a fuck if people know they’ve done steroids to get a nice bit o’ tittage – bearing in mind the amount of gentleman callers we’ve happened across who, upon us clocking a change in bodily matter, have responded sans flinch: ‘Oh, yeah, thanks. Steroids!’

We rest our case, m’Lord.

ps. There’s another ad from the ‘Just say no to steroids, kids’ range after the jump. With equally fetching headgear.

It's an alien! Run for your lives!
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2 comments to “Would this put you off doing steroids? Or just wearing a headscarf and looking like a wanker…?”

  1. Here was me considering steroids, only now I know they make an asterisk appear under the skin of your forehead. Back to chin-ups, then.

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  2. …you know our old art teacher (bless her, mrs ‘auntie’ walker; because she felt she needed to be closer than just a teacher and label herself our family, poor prune) was convinced that asterisks were called asterists . and she was so darn posh you couldn’t help believe her . the whole class argued against her, but she maintained she had gone to uni, and thus knew . i suppose the rest of my class will forever lead their lives thinking asterisks are called asterists .. pity they dont look on here :(

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