Ben Barnes, who will soon fill the *Orlando Bloom – squeal* boots left open by said Orlando Bloom now the whole world seems to be coming round to the fact that he can neither act nor is particularly bummable, is to play Dorian Gray in a new filmic device of the eponymously titled Oscar Wilde novel.
This, incidentally, is not new news. That’s a lot of n’s. The reasons plural we mention this now are:
a) This is a picture taken of Ben Barnes filming Dorian Gray. Hello.
b) We saw Ben Barnes in London’s glittering Holborn on Monday. He looked pretty. His hair looked silky shiny.
c) We bet Ulrika Cunt-cunt-cunt-cunt wishes she had a portrait in her dirty attic.