The latest human bean to rip the whatsit out of David Beckham’s now infamous cum bulge shots for Armani is Mark Foster out-of swimming and off-of Strictly Come Dancing.
There are several reasons why we will mostly be preferring/flicking off to Foster’s version and they are as thusly follows…
a. The cock is evidently a real-live fully-functional one as opposed to a pair of your best leg warmers.
2. The dude is almost 40, meaning the pensive scowl is an authentic almost-40-year-old’s pensive scowl (as in he’s probably actually thinking about things while smouldering, legs akimbo. *sigh* Brains and brawn).
trios. The lack of tattoo-age on this man’s body is enjoyable. Not quite sure what that item is on the left teet. Looks suspiciously like the Olympic rings (*hee*, ring) but we’re crossing our pinkies that it’s just pretend.
4. He’s 6ft 5 for baby David’s sake. Yes please.
And cinco. And six.
Apparently we’re morally obliged to say that this shoot comes c/o Now magazine, but we have no morals so won’t mention it.