Which famous has a seemingly massive schlong like this dot-dot-dot? The dolly hand movement might give it away…

Let’s look at the evidence:

- We think it’s a male man.

- The hands suggest movement faster than walking, so a male man who often does the one after walking. Running.

- Baggy shorts. Therefore probably in all consideration Americanish.

- That contraption around the left arm. So we’re thinking someone who takes this ’sport’ thing seriously.

- And c)

- And d)

Who could it be? Who? Who? Who? Who who who who who who who? Who could it be?

It’s Matthew McConaughey off-of never knowingly not sporting, ladies and germs! Hooray!

And here are two zooooooooooooooooooomed out pictures of him sporting. And that jangly front business of his. Oh hello.

*pops to the loo*