How Gullible Do You Think We Are? #1

Don't look at me, I'm shy!

You know us, never ones to fall for retarded PR stunts…

*ooh, free shiny thing arrives by attractive courier. For free. No moneys were exchanged. Rien. Nada. Freeeeeeeeeeeeeee: Must be good*

Anyways, we’ve decided to rename our observations of said PR stunts as ‘How Gullible To You Think We Are?’ and give each a number because a) we think it makes them user friendly and if you’re a Virgo you can make nice neat lists out of them and b) it brings to mind that show, ‘Who Do You Think You Are’ in which famouses trace their ancestry whilst we stand back in awe. Therefore rendering it topical. We learnt that in the journalism school we didn’t go to. Yes, we learnt the hard way.

Anyway, back to the case in point. It would be very easy to start this new series of pertinent observations with any one of the 73,000 stories about X Factor that get leaked to the press on an hourly basis – you know, ‘Cheryl threatens to quit’, ‘Dannii’s jealous of Cheryl’, ‘Cheryl demands pay-rise’, ‘Cheryl and Dannii are bumming’, that sort of thing – but no, we’ll start with national treasure and sausage in a cardigan, Fern Britten.

Fern Britten has, days after having her contract with Ryvita low-fat snackage renewed, been photographed lumping a newly-purchased exercise bike from vehicle to house. Or vice versa. By her very self. It’s evidence of her (only-as-part-of-a) healthy lifestyle, see. Things to make a note of about this include… 

1) There just happed to be paps looming outside Fern Britten’s house. She’s hardly Britney/Beckham/Foxy Noxy.

b) She just happened to be shifting an exercise bike.

Three) The paparazzi just happened to be there.

4) It was an exercise bike she just happened to be shifting.

Another one) Why’s she shifting it? Whilst paps just happen to be there? ‘It’, by sheer coincidence, being an exercise bike? Doesn’t she have staff/a husband/children? Rhetorical questions, btw.

And c) and d)

There endeth our inaugural ‘How Gullible Do You Think We Are?’.

How fun.

ps. What’s that bit of brown tape on it? ‘It’ being the exercise bike? Eugh.

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3 comments to “How Gullible Do You Think We Are? #1”

  1. Sod the exercise bike, she should try a Power Plate.

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  2. I am a virgo and so I will be printing out these ‘How Gullible Do You Think We Are?’ entries. Then I shall laminate them and put them in a nice lever-arch ring binder.

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  3. A Tunturi fitness bike? How Argos.

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