In what order…?

*hands over towel*

Sod the Gossip Girl gays guys, we want to go deep withinside the ‘twisted world of revenge porn’…! *has a brainwave*

Ooh, and then there’s ‘Do you have douchebag hair?’ *points at Gok Wan* Oh no, that’s just lesbian hair.

Oh c-hrist, then there are the ’23 must-haves to complete your winter wardrobe’. One of them surely has to be a nice chunky sex-club boot. Finishes off an outfit like you wouldn’t b’.

And ‘everything you need to know to buy the perfect watch’? It’s amazing what features you can come up with when an advertiser’s pumping loads of cash dollar into your magoizeen.

As for those ‘yuppie survivalists’…

Oh but yes, the Gossip Girl gennelmen. We’re rather fond of all of the above. But can exclusively reveal we’d bum Penn Badgley first, then Ed Westwick, then Chace Crawford. So left, right, middle.

*Chace puts head inside gas oven*

Controversial, p’raps. Or p’raps not. This , incidentally, is based entirely on first-hand experience of bumming interviewing all three. Chace, if you’re innerested, was wearing all the make-up Mac can make. Made. Will make. Ever. It’s kind of a deal-breaker round here.

All three at the same time you say? Wash your mouth out, pig.

ps. The new Details mag. You know, the magazine for gay men who haven’t come out yet. Oh hello.

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2 comments to “In what order…?”

  1. All three at the same time. I believe they call that a threesome.

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  2. No, it would be a fourgy. You know, cos there’s three of them and you’d kinda hafta be there too if you wanted to take part….

    Anyways Sarah, should you be sitting in a room someplace with an Atlas? it would help if you at least learned the names of all the countries you’ve never been to so you don’t look like a total freak in the VP telly debate ce soir?

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