Riddle us this: Can a Kylie song ever be ‘too Kylie’? Oooooooooooooooooh, intrigue…

Bum chums.

Hello.

So, you’ll never guess. Boy George wrote a song for Kylie but Kylie’s people rejected it for being, and we quoteth, ‘too Kylie’.

*eyes dart around room*

Here’s the quote. It’s a juicy quote, peoples, because it also contains the information that Boy George is now writing for Kanye West instead. *Shakes uncontrollably*.

‘I wrote a song for Kylie but her representative said it was too Kylie. I don’t know what he meant by that. I’m actually doing something for Kanye West soon. My friend Amanda Ghost is a big songwriter at the moment. She met with Kanye a couple of weeks ago and he loved ‘Karma Chameleon’ and he’s looking for real songs. Whether or not he does it is another story! He might say it’s too Kanye West!”

See, told you.

Now let’s play that game where we decide what being ‘too Kylie’ actually means, with the help of a list:

– Kylie goes from performing like a 40-year-old going on twelve, to a 40-year-old going on point of conception.

– Vocals, previously never knowlingly been near a studio, are now done away with altogether. You can do magical things with buttons.

– Song is a nursery rhyme. Oh actually, we hold our hands up here so-help-us-baby-G. We do like a Kylie song, it must be said – it’s just the puppet on a string who sings them we object to. Ooh, Sandy Shaw!

– Kylie’s eyebrows shift from present drag-queen locale, up over the head, down the back, finally resting on buttocks.

– Melts in the sun.

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5 comments to “Riddle us this: Can a Kylie song ever be ‘too Kylie’? Oooooooooooooooooh, intrigue…”

  1. Oof, harsh. But I must concur.

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  2. Nice to see Geowge kept all his old schmutter.

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  3. Don’t know about you, but I like it when 40-year-olds act like children. It makes them less intimidating and as a result makes me want to buy their records.

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  4. I like the part when La George said: ‘My friend Amanda Ghost is a big songwriter at the moment.’ Like she’s big at that at the moment, next week she will be a big fashion designer and the week after that, she’ll be a big dull dud. Or something.

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  5. What a surprise! Another pop at Kylie from you guys! Well, well, who’d have thunk? Let me just remind you that your darling of the year, Madge, is OLDER than Kylie and STILL does the “let’s pretend to be a cool teenager” thing!! Get a grip, you people.

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