It might look like Lewis Hamilton is avoiding a kiss on the smacker from an overzealous trannylicious aunt, but he is in fact avoiding a kiss from his overzealous trannylicious girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger, having just won the F1 title. Yay!

We hear there are calls for nationwide huzzah’s since the utterly charisma-free Lewis Hamilton off-of Nicole Scherzinger off-of Pussycat Dolly drove a car really fast, won the F1 title and will now go on to earn £100 million a year. Yes, a year. The guy is 23. Sick much?

We caught snippets of said race, and were mostly amused by Nicole’s bouncey bouncey not-forgetting to pouty pouty applause, and commentators over-stated proclamation of ‘genius’. Honey, splitting the atom is genius, driving a little car very fast round and round a track 71 times is not.

Now let us look at Lewis Hamilton - the sixth sexiest man in the world according to our chums over at Cosmopolitan magoizine - in a state of undress and ask ourselves yar or nar? 

Mmm, we like that trampled look. And yay…

*thinks about white weeing but gets distracted*