It’s a funny thing. Last time we were flirting with, sorry, talking to Brian Paddick at the Stonewall Awards, asking him what he did with himself now he was retired – at the age of just 50! – on full pay. ‘Nothing,’ he said. So, watch Jeremy Kyle and make cakes? ‘No, nothing at all.’
And what are you going to do with yourself? we badgered, seeing as he’s only just past the halfway mark in his working life and we liked thinking about him in a variety of Mr. Ben outfits: you know, handyman with a toolbelt, lifeguard in Speedos. ‘Nothing much,’ said Brian (though we were so googly eyed at the sheer sex of the man that we were finding it hard to concentrate).
And then we open up our Daily Mail today (all in the name of research you unnerstand) and find he is to do I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here. Which we think means we get to see him with his top off!
Also rumoured to be eating grubs and shouting at the camp trout this year are…
- Esther Ranzen, the camp trout (previously Janet Street Porter, Christine Hamilton).
- Simon Webbe off-of Blue, the camp sexy pop star (previously J off-of 5ive, Matt from Busted)
- Joe Swash off-of EastEnders, the camp cheeky chappy (previously Joe Pasquale, Phil Tuffnell)
- Martina Navratilova, the camp feisty lesbian (previously Rhona Cameron, Jordan)
- Dani Behr, the camp glamour girl (previously Nell McAndrew, Melinda Messinger)
- David Van Day off-of Dollar, the camp irritating old man (previously David Gest)
We’re not quite sure what slot Brian is filling, let’s just hope they’re nothing thinking he’ll be the camp irritating gay (previously Christopher Biggins, David Gest) because them producers are barking up totally the wrong gay if they think he’ll do that.




I’d bum ‘im.
You gays have all the best ones – you get Brian and we get Sir Ian Blair – I’d happily let Brian handcuff me and give me a good going over.
DILFx
oooh..’Daddy’ Paddick and ‘Mummy’ Martina in one programme – go the gays!
I would *so* shag him. I’m his! Do tell him.