Anyone over the age of six months should not be wearing this material

Lumpen of body. Lumpen of soul.‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!’ hasn’t even started and we already hate Nicola McLean, the dumb blonde aka SLAG WAG aka ‘Former Page 3 Model’. There’s nothing sadder than the title ‘Former Page 3 Model’ is there? It suggests that one’s previous glory, which involved exposing ones mammaries for the sake of drooling blue collars everywhere, has now ended. The reason? Perhaps the tools of the trade have begun to sag? Or the female in question has moved on to bigger and better things, like being the ‘Shag o’ the Week’ for a footballer or ten.

Anyway, basis for aforementioned growing hatred and forthcoming rant? Weeeell, apparentémont McLean (we can hardly think of a less appropriate surname) fancies a bit of a ‘bushtucker trial’ with resident lesbos Martina Navratilova. God bless The Sun and all its hide-behind-your-acrylic-nails puns.

Nicolarse, off-of engaged to football kicker Tom Williams, said: ‘I’m getting married, so the guys won’t interest me. But a bit of girl-on-girl, that’s not cheating, is it?’

Yes, because lezza and gay cavorts of any nature just don’t count do they? We’re sure if her little Tommy took it hard in the back-bottom like the good footballer that he is she wouldn’t mind at all, because ‘that’s not cheating is it?’

She went on to say of Martina: ‘She can have a little look and a fondle if she fancies it.’

Honey, Martina’s more likely to revert to the chow of a Kangeroo’s cock. Now let’s have a look at Tom Williams…
Not famous enough to have a high-res image on Googlay Yep, as we suspected. The eyebrows of a gay.

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More dolly #content:

2 comments to “Anyone over the age of six months should not be wearing this material”

  1. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxactly.

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  2. She has very large breasts. That is all. Thank you.

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