Some People Turned Up For A Fireworks Display In Dubai. Get Over It!

Bit better than a Catherine Wheel in a soggy fieldSo yester eve saw a big old fully-covered knees up in Dubai, where we’re told 2000 whole (or half in some cases) entities and non-entities turned up last night’s opening of £1 billion resort Atlantis Palm Jumeirah. The ‘party of the year’ basically included your usual drinks and nibbles set up and some light entertainment – which included the real-live whisperings of Kylie Minogue and some alleged DJing by Samantha Ronson. Oh and there were some fireworks as well, which organisers tell us could be seen from space – which means they probably couldn’t be seen in space. Organisers, like Source, like the Pied Piper of Hamlin are never to be trusted.

And all this cost approximately £20 million earth Pounds, or earth Dirham, or whatever it is they use out there.

But someone needs to tell these chaps, you can polish a turd, but it is still a turd. You can suck fat out of a Kerry Katona, but it’s still a Kerry Katona and you can throw all the money in the world at Dubai, but it’s still Dubai and we still won’t be spending our hard earned cash to go there. And here is for why, people, here is for why…

We don’t want our hands or genitals or head to be chopped off for slyly glancing at a hot boy’s VPL. We are quite fond of our hands, genitals and head – in no particular order.

We don’t want to serve actual time in an actual prison for having some actual rump and/or pump on a beach.

We quite like holidaying with friends of a lady nature (as in real-live got-a-vagina ladies, not lady ladies) and don’t fancy taking them to a place where they’re pretty much treated worse than dogs. We hear canine’s can vote, are allowed to drive and even wear a skirt above the cankle. Ladies on the other hand, can’t.*

*These may or may not be facts. Our researcher’s off sick and we’re quite happy to use stereotypes as trufax at this moment in time. Thankings.

So in other words, yes they give good firework but the middle ages of the middle east just ain’t our bag baby.

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One comment to “Some People Turned Up For A Fireworks Display In Dubai. Get Over It!”

  1. is the “cankle” in between the cunt and the foot? or is it a dog thing?

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