That’s it, really. We were considering doing a really formulaic piece on Britney’s road to stardom; the ups, the downs, the to-the-sides, mentioning her age, where she comes from, a bit of colour like, you know, when she went crazy as a box of hair – literally, seeing as the only hair she had was in a box – her past loves including Justin Timberlake and that Kevin bloke, her children, her pikey family, the fact she has no discernable talent whatsoever and sings like a deaf person… but then we thought, no, let’s just give the facts, and leave it at that. The facts, if you haven’t been paying attention, being:
– Britney’s appearing at G-A-Y. We’d say ‘singing at’ but honey, that ain’t sweet music coming out of that gob. It’s not 100% certain, incidentally, but it’s looking hopeful. When we say hopeful, we’ll be elsewhere.
– She’s doing X Factory first. Hence it makes perfect sense. Oh that rhymes.
– G-A-Y is now at Heaven, which you knew.
– When ‘singing’, Britney does a weird thing with her jaw not unlike our deary PM, Gordon Brown. The similarities stop there.