Britney’s doing G-A-Y.

Er, tits?

This weekend.

That’s it, really. We were considering doing a really formulaic piece on Britney’s road to stardom; the ups, the downs, the to-the-sides, mentioning her age, where she comes from, a bit of colour like, you know, when she went crazy as a box of hair – literally, seeing as the only hair she had was in a box – her past loves including Justin Timberlake and that Kevin bloke, her children, her pikey family, the fact she has no discernable talent whatsoever and sings like a deaf person… but then we thought, no, let’s just give the facts, and leave it at that. The facts, if you haven’t been paying attention, being:

– Britney’s appearing at G-A-Y. We’d say ‘singing at’ but honey, that ain’t sweet music coming out of that gob. It’s not 100% certain, incidentally, but it’s looking hopeful. When we say hopeful, we’ll be elsewhere.

– She’s doing X Factory first. Hence it makes perfect sense. Oh that rhymes.

G-A-Y is now at Heaven, which you knew.

– When ‘singing’, Britney does a weird thing with her jaw not unlike our deary PM, Gordon Brown. The similarities stop there.

The end.

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3 comments to “Britney’s doing G-A-Y.”

  1. Such bad tits for such a young gal.

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  2. Can you imagine what it will be like at GAY on Saturday? Hundreds of screaming pre-pubescent queens standing outside ‘craving’ her and screaming like schoolgirls when they get to see her flit to or from the car for about 3/4 of a nanosecond. Then then turn to each other, still squealing at a pitch usually only audible by dogs and insects and rotate these general phrases:
    ” OMG, she so totally smiled at me”
    “OMG, she looks, like, so totally fierce”
    “It’s Britney Beeeyotch”.

    Inside will be awash with cheap fragrance, orange faces severley plucked eyebrows.

    Oh how I miss it. I might go.

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  3. Britney Spears is a stupid Republican cunt. I wish queers would wise up, and I wish her producers would remix someone more worthy into stardom. She’s nothing.

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