*think think think think think*

Hello.

This is Mark Foster off-of we’re not saying he’s gay, why would we say he’s gay? all covered in gold, in the manner of Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’?

Mais, pourquoi? It’s a new campaign for The Big Lottery Fund, which is supposed to get us thinking about what good causes we’d like the dosh we throw away on the Lottery every week to be put towards. You know, like ice-skating rinks and new net curtains for everyone on Shannon Matthews’ estate or maybe just some dry shampoo for Karen Matthews or even another percent off VAT (slight segue: Our morning Soya Cappuccino from Pret has now gone down from £1.89 to £1.85. Stick that up your jacksies and smell the coffee, doubters!) or maybe just, you know, Champagne for Lulu.

So that, ladies and gennels and others, is why Mark Foster off-of bum us is posing, perchance to think, perchance to dream of magnificant Lottery-funded projects. And that interdolly site he’s sat on - www.big-thinking.org.uk - is where you too can go to give your tuppence worth on how to spend the Lottery dosh. Anyone who reads the Daily Mail has already gone on and given the default answers ‘NHS’ or ‘Fighting knife crime’.

We, in the meantime, have gone on and said ‘bumming Mark Foster. Or vice versa, we’re versatile. It’s all the rage’.

Speaking of which, oh hello…