Cliff Richard: ‘I like people guessing about my sexuality’. Honey, it doesn’t take Jessica Fletcher to put two and two together and get homo.

Hello.

Dirty Cliff Richard’s been talking about bumming again.

He was doing a turn (that’s showbiz speak, that is) on Songs of Praise yesterday and took the opportunity to speak to the show’s combined audience and 72 to finally put to bed all those filthy rumours that have pestered the god-bothering national treasure since they day he popped out of his momma’s *makes Carry On, nudge-nudge, wink-wink whistle*.

So, despite living with the mens in the biblical sense for baby Jesus knows how long (there’s a clue here), he’s never actually come out of the proverbial Queen Anne side cabinet, and yesterday told Songs of Praise’s intrepid interviewer that, well, everyone can just fuck off really ’cause it’s not of their business whether he takes it up the ‘arris or not.

‘It is just none of your business.’

See, told you.

He also said that he quite likes the questioning. That he finds it exciting. That it gives him a funny tingle, especially on poppers. Maybe.

‘I’m an enigma and I love it. I love that after all these years they still don’t think they know everything about me.

‘I know, but I don’t care.’

If you don’t care, Clifford, why don’t you just come out and say it?

And this, naturally, is not the time and place to get all finger wagging on his back bottom and say something along the lines of, Cliff, girl, you’re really giving out the wrong message by keeping it under your bonnet.  You know, the message that somehow being a big ole gay is wrong. Just a simple yes or no will do. Even just a nod.

*hums ‘Mistletoe and Wine’*